Tag: darwin

April 2001 Part 3. A quick in and out of Northern Queensland.

I’m now zooting along on the Qantas from Cairns to Singapore, via Darwin -the return of what I did the other night. Fortunately this one is on time. In Darwin, one of the world’s least inspiring cities, in case you were wondering – a sweaty place at the best of times and it never seems actually to HAVE a best of times, they made us all get off. A sort of hangover from the olden days of planes when refueling was regarded really as being close to playing with fire – thus the time wasting exodus from the plane and reboarding again later. You do not want to incinerate your paying pax should something go wrong. Instead we get the opportunity to go SHOPPING and the chance to pick up our last boomerang or other ethnic offering. Was amused by watching one elderly, I should think Nordic, couple, doing vigorous exercises to prevent blood clots. He looked younger than her by a chunk and was egging her on something terrible, so that I should think she was more at risk of a heart attack there and then. Finally they did power walking around the Japanese tourists, just to get in the way.

We had managed to bring our plane into Cairns a few days before, without too much fuss, though of course the foot and mouth business in the UK has made the Australians even more paranoid than ever about what comes in to the country. They have always been very protectionist of their agriculture (and rightly so) but now they are positively on a mission and there is a zeal in their eyes. They wanted to know exactly where I had been for the last few months, so I gave them a much sanitized version or I would probably be still under investigation or put into a large plastic bag for the duration. What they didn’t know was, in this case, a much better idea. Goodness knows what happens if you say that on live on a farm in Devon – the floor probably opens and you plunge down into a vat of some delousing fluid.

The scenery in North Queensland is just fabulous and the drive from Cairns north to Port Douglas, where our posh hotel is, is a knockout. First through acres of sugar cane (not the place to go walkabout though, as I heard nasty stories of the migrant cane cutters of old, who were much done in from diseases caused by rat’s urine …) – anyway, the road then follows the coast, with hidden, mini beaches, fringed with a few palms and the hugeness of the Pacific to your right – it is really beautiful.

The hotel people seemed to be happy to see me back (I was there to scout it out last year) and my room was full of goodies of both the liquid and solid variety, so I wanted for nothing. Our local agent turned up too – very much the ” No Worries, mate” Australian and we went over the program and made sure we were all talking the same language – even though Seattle has everything under control with them, you still need to go back to square one and clarify absolutely everything, cos at our end of the market, we cannot afford any misunderstandings. It’s amazing how easy it can be to just ‘presume’ that we are all talking the same language and then find out the hard way that we were not !! That is what our punters pay the big bucks for, but unfortunately what I am NOT paid the big bucks for !!! – though I do have some of my more regular customers willing to lobby TC on my behalf and say that I beyond rubies, (though just who this Ruby is, I’m never quite sure…). Sounds like a good name for a bar – see you at Beyond Rubies.

Take a break here ….  Lots more to come.

April 2001 Part 2. A long night, a Singapore Sling and another long night.

OK now in Singapore waiting for Mr Qantas to show up – the flight is 4 hours late – not a nice idea as this means we shall leave at 0230, which is way past my bedtime. And I spent last night on a plane too, chez Singapore Airlines, Dubai to Singapore. After Iran Aseman, I was in a different world ! The flight left at 2200 and after 8 hrs was due into SIN at 0700 local, so I swallowed a good knock out pill and waived them all goodnight. It was empty enough for me to move seats and not have anyone else breathing in my ears, so despite repeated offers from the crew to sample their fine dining, I was out like a light for the whole flight.

Singapore in the dawn was steamy as usual. I hopped a taxi to Raffles, as I now have a good contact their ex Cambodia, so he was waiting and put me right into their health spa for much freshening up, which is always a reviver. Did an official tour of the hotel, which has been much tarted up since I was last through its portals. I am returning twice there within the next 10 days and will be given a posh suite of my choosing – I DO LIKE having friends in fancy watering places….

Of course they would love our business should we ever decide to drop in. Had a good massage later and a drink in the celebrated Long Bar, home of the Singapore Sling which tried and decided was a terrible waste of good gin – they serve about 1000 a day – yes 1000. Every tourist who comes to SIN has to make a pilgrimage to Raffles. I sat in the lobby for a while (having a slight attack of the terminal exhaustion) and now must feature in many Japanese tourists photos – I tried to adopt an interesting pose and not look like a derilict, mouth agape, between flights.

OK now many hours later, somewhere over the North of Oz. Qantas was not having a good night in Singapore, as this plane coming in late, with many pax connecting to London on their flt from Sydney made them delay the London-bound one too, which was not a popular decision with the Singapore joiners. One poor Brit, my vintage, actually was in tears in the lounge as he was now going to miss some wedding – Qantas Duty Manager girl was v v sympathetic and certainly tried to do what little she could and he was at least nice with her and at one point I thought they were BOTH going to weep together – stiff upper lip Brit in tears, with much blowing of nose and coming to terms with a no win situation was our entertainment.

Lounge run by a very camp Singaporean BA guy, who made effusive p.a.’s and I think had we taken a vote, he would have been taken outside and pushed off the roof.

So eventualee, we were put on our plane, an exceedingly old 747 of the original vintage, which had been delayed waiting for a radio spare to come up from Sydney to Cairns on its northbound flight. Of course the luck was still against us, as no less than 5 pax managed not to board, which seemed almost impossible as the airport was virtually empty, but also BIG, so if they were asleep in a corner, they may not have been seen – so of course we had to have their bags removed. Oy oy oy. Finally we bumped up through some vast thunder clouds and I threw a blanket over myself and put the earplugs in and dozed off. 4 hours later we bumped our way back through the clouds and landed in Darwin in pouring rain – absolutely galloning down it was. “To speed things up here” he said, “passengers going through to Cairns should stay on board and we shall be here for 50 mins”. The reality was that we were there for 90 mins as yet again someone failed to board …. And also there was a vast amount of static coming through the p.a. system for some unknown reason, which was driving us all crazy. It’s turning into a night, or rather now, a day, that will never end. Just hope our cheerful Oz agents will be there to meet me and haven’t be sitting at the airport for hours and hours. Qantas crews need a great shake up – they are just going through the motions here – my Singapore girlfriends would be shocked rigid.

So I’m sending this one down the line from Cairns …. I know u are all breathlessly awaiting the next episode …. there will be more Oz stuff plus my visit to Sandakan in the Malaysian part of Borneo ( Vera, go get the map). Stay tuned to this channel and we shall be right back….

Hope u are all well ( and at least not as inside out as I am ….)

Tim