Have had two lunchtime outing’s from Huy’s office, with the team.  First was for International Women’s Day, when we went around the corner and virtually took over a dim sum place.  Meal ended with frog congee, which may not be too everyone’s taste, but at least it cheered up the congee, which is exceedingly bland, like eating baby food.  The girls were much dressed up and one guy and one girl stood up and sang during the meal.  She does not have a future there, but the young guy had the sweetest voice. 

And the second to celebrate a staff member leaving, whom I shall miss, as she has been there as long as I have known Huy, called Jennifer (they all have Western names) and she is very kind and quiet and speaks good English.  I can wink at her and she might just wink back, which is fairly advanced for around here.  We piled in to cabs (extremely cheap here) and went to a crab restaurant.  If I had known that, I might have not gone, as I think crabs are the biggest effort for the least amount of food ever invented.  We had crabs in tamarind (sweet) and crabs in salt.  They are all still wielding chopsticks (and fingers) whereas I just resort to the latter and it’s still way too much effort for near zero nutrition.  They practically dissect them and suck every bone dry.  At the end of the meal, the table- top burners come out and the soup is kind of made there and then, with addition of coconut water right from the coconut itself, with a crab base and then many other bits thrown in and we clean out the bowls.   They all take taxis back, but as I have a vague idea of where I am, I said I would walk, which practically causes heart attacks.  We just don’t walk here.

And I have been no less than twice to the Opera House.   A relic of colonial France and one of the most photographed buildings in town.  Went to the HCMC Symphony Orchestra, with Huy, who loves western classical music.  We went last year and it was a bit of an ordeal, so I was ready to tune out, but they have improved amazingly and for what they lack in professionalism, they make up in enthusiasm !  They kind of ran out of steam towards the end, as it was a full program.  On the way out, standing on the steps in the warm night air, one of the musicians came past and I congratulated him on the  performance.  He was a bassoonist, which is a difficult enough instrument to play anywhere, so he was happy to be praised.  They are now performing every month.

A few night later, I was back for something called the “A O Show” which might be described as VN Cirque de Soleil –  well, if you screw yr eyes up a bit.  It was cute.  Revoltingly healthy mainly young men, with a few girls, doing all sorts of balancing acts using huge versions of their baskets and ropes and running and jumping and twisting and never running out of steam either.  Audience, mainly round eyes, lapped it up. 

Have seen two Chinese funerals, from the vantage point of my balcony and both at 7am on Saturday morning !  Oddest thing was the similarity with the traditional New Orleans jazz band funeral tradition .. uniformed band was the same both times and playing trad. ragtime stuff.  If you had closed yr eyes (and made yourself cool) you would never have thought of being in VN. They come complete with professional/wailing mourners and literally wearing sackcloth and ashes.

There is even a coffin shop around the corner –  I kid thee not.  Wonderfully ornate some of them are and the same man stretched out on his camp bed just inside the door… perhaps a living ad for how comfortable they are for the dearly departed.  Mainly huge they are, but also has smaller sized child ones.  I keep an eye on his stock and nothing has been sold in weeks.

At the rice shop, there are no less than 30 different types of rice in sacks … everything from USD.70 a kilo to nearly $3.   If you have them all side by side like that, you can see the difference. And you can have it as flour too. 

Just along the street, is the Platinum Dental Group office, which is all pristine white and gold.  You leave your shoes at the door here (as you do with any family home and we do at my airbandb place).  It all looks v swish.  I may have to have a word with Dr Michael Kleinman in NY about upgrading his image.  VN’s would be shocked that we tramp around in his office in our outside shoes.  And the price there, of course, will be a fraction of chez Kleiny.

On the way back here from Oz, the side handle on my million-miler suitcase finally gave way … and of course VN is THE place to have the impossible-in-most-places-in-the-western-world-to-fix done.  My landlady took control and said “I will take it to the one-legged man…” which she did (on the back of her bike of course, you were expecting a taxi already ?) and not only did he repair it to the degree that you could hang it from a hook, weighing 25kgs, and it would not give way, but he also added one on the other side for good measure.  Cost: a shade under USD5.   Ah me  !

A man on a scooter just went past … his pillion rider had a 20 ft long set of bamboo poles under one arm. Everyone on the road will see it (no silly flags on the ends !) and they will cause no harm.  Girls in short skirts riding pillion do it sidesaddle, with legs demurely crossed and often not even hanging on to anything.. I suppose if you have been on a bike from in utero days, then bike balance is inborn !   I saw two lovely looking TALL girls (it does happen) and often v thin too, which adds to the height.  Both in very very tight and clingy little black dresses and permanently tugging them down over their pert bums .. a sisterhood around the world is doing that ! 

Can you hear me now …???? 

Café Nhi does motorbike service .. just yell from the kerb and your order is brought right to you in the obligatory tiny plastic bag and then hung from one of the many small hooks all VN bikes have just for this reason.  I am quite expecting to see a small child hanging from one.   And no wonder the coffee tastes so good, they were just using a wonderful old red grinder to convert beans to ground and the places smells, temporarily, wonderful.   The ice-man just cameth to check on supplies and has returned with the sack over his shoulder.  Who needs computerized inventory controls when the iceman will show up regardless ?   He wears an ancient baseball cap and his crash helmet on top.

I’m on the menu …

Just walking back home after a couple of hours chez Nhi, is fraught with obstacles, as all the small restaux have expanded out on to the sidewalk, where they have met the parked bikes, which many times appear to have been abandoned, rather than parked.   Where there is the ‘security’ man, then often the route is you just charge on to the kerb, take off all your wrappings (which if female can be many as the last thing we want here is a tan) and then walk away and the man in the blue shirt then lines them all up.  You can just be just innocently walking along and suddenly, wham, a bike arrives and you can practically go flying over it.  That’s normal.

Many years ago, Huy asked me what would happen to the signet ring that has been on my left hand pinkie for ever.  He apparently, had always liked it and in that direct VN way put in a bid for it upon my demise.  So I said of course, but never quite worked out how to achieve that.   Well, as many of you know, when I had my operation last November, the ring had to be cut off.   Looking at it afterwards, I knew in a second that this was the time to pass it along.  It’s been there 51 years and so has served its time and I rather liked the idea that it could move with me being alive and also depart for a new part of the world.  So I brought it with me and presented it to him, in its broken state and within two days, he had it all fixed and now has promised that he will do the same.

Huy grinning as he always does, plus his right hand girl Tracy, who is lovely.

Huy looking serious…

So I shall be setting off home soon now … it’s been fun being really immersed in VN, yet at the same time, you are still the stranger.  At least their English communications skills have improved beyond anything I could have imagined 20 years ago, when I first came here.  In fact the whole place has changed hugely too.  Far more ‘westernized’ than it was then, so now we have supermarkets and not just street vending.

I won’t miss all those hard seats, which is the norm for all of the orient.  There is something about the wooden seats here that seem to make them extremely hard, after just a few minutes.   I won’t miss the fumes from all those bikes but I shall miss not using my special VN skills to cross the road in a sea of bikes.  At rush hour downtown, this is really Olympic Gold level and is perhaps better to buddy up with a local and glue yourself to them all the way across.   I won’t miss the sound of the language, as it is about as far from ‘romance’ as you can get.

Again, this is already way too long and you have probably given up by now.

No more anon…if there is a flight report, it will go to the aviation/travel buffs, as it must be very boring for anyone else !

Love,

Tim.

Ps  Mass staff hysteria now at Café Nhi, as I am trying to pronounce their names.  All one syllable, but that is still tough.  Miss Thom (but Tom) is my mate and Miss Tay and Miss Vung are the other two, EXCEPT they all fall about when I repeat exactly what I hear.  Don’t forget, we have 6 tones here and the minutest, teeniest change will mean something completely different.  Just had my pic taken yet again, with the hair standing on end, as under a fan… whatever will their mothers be thinking !!

And don’t forget…